It's talking about putting others down to build yourself up. Maybe you only do it mentally... in your mind you talk a lot about Mortimer: how you hate the way he dresses and how he walks and how he stares coldly at you when you smile.

You say "Now this is enough. I've been criticizing Mortimer since the day I arrived here. I'm going to try to make friends," but Mortimer just meets your sunny false smile with an icy stare. So you continue to ponder Mortimer's awful ways as you sit here on the cushion, and you very seldom label it "thinking" or breathe it in. It doesn't occur to you to exchange yourself for Mortimer, and you certainly don't feel grateful to him.

From START WHERE YOU ARE by Pema Chdrn, 1994.
Published by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc., Boston.